This Time is the Last Time

Like most people who have been overweight for a very long time, I have had periods where I've lost significant amounts of weight, only to regain it. I have had periods where I've exercised regularly, for a while. But here I am, "morbidly obese" and with my knees literally buckling under the load they're being forced to carry. This must be the last time for change and it must be lasting change. At fifty, with multiple health problems (all related to obesity) I'm running out of time for do-overs and try-agains.

This is not a diet. This is not an exercise program. This is a choice to treat myself with care and respect so that my body can heal and become strong. If something beyond my control takes away my health, then it was meant to be. But I am not going to willingly give it away. What I can control, I will control. My new life begins now.

I had sort of an epiphany on a recent vacation. A picture my husband took of me standing in the edge of the Pacific actually looks pretty good. But it doesn't show how slow and painful it was for me to walk the two blocks from our hotel to the beach. I've already been told that I'll need replacement surgery for my left knee. I'm in physical therapy to help relieve the pain that I have when walking or standing for even moderate periods of time. I am on about a dozen medications to treat for Type 2 Diabetes, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Asthma, Hypertension, High Triglycerides and LDL cholesterol. My doctor has told me that most, if not all, of my health problems will likely disappear if I just lose the excess weight. Doesn't it seem absolutely ridiculous that anyone wouldn't do that to get rid of these health problems? It is completely senseless not to.

I am a smart, resourceful, competent, problem-solver. At 50 years of age, I just completed my B.A. in Government and Public Policy magna cum laude. Before that, I completed A.A. and A.S. degrees summa cum laude. I belong to honor societies. I was awarded several merit scholarships during community college and attended my university on full scholarship. I AM a smart woman. I CAN do what needs to be done to solve a problem or achieve a goal. I WILL do what needs to be done to improve the quality -- and quantity -- of my life. The real me WILL emerge.